Have you ever wondered what to do when you fail? The most successful people in history have found success after a long line of failures. Their company goes under, their new product tanks, no one listens to their broadcast. Yet they just keep going. Do you ever think How do they survive that?
Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.
Thomas Edison
It’s all in how they think. Successful people are able move forward. They are remembered for their big achievement, not the string of failures that happened along the way. They know failures are just a stepping stone on the long road to success.
My Big Failure
On January 15, 2018, the International Bobsleigh & Skeleton Federation determined how many sleds from each nation would represent their country at the Olympics based on the points they’d accumulated throughout the season. Only 20 women’s bobsled teams were selected for Pyeongchang, and I was not among them. FAIL.
I’d been working toward making that 2018 Olympic team for six years, and to come so close and fall short was deflating. I felt like a helium balloon that had shrunk, lying on the floor all sad and wrinkly.
After finishing just one spot shy of the National team during the October selection races, I knew making the Olympic team would be an uphill battle. Following this setback, a small possibility still existed that I could earn my way onto the squad from a lower racing circuit. But with every race, that glimmer of hope became a little smaller, sinking my balloon a little closer to the floor.
Finally January came, and I knew the only way I could go was if someone ahead of me got injured and I needed to step in. It was such a slow letdown over several months. As a result, I wasn’t very emotional when they announced the Olympic team without my name on the list. I had known it wouldn’t be for weeks. The USA women’s team qualified two sleds for the 2018 Olympics, and I was ranked fourth. Six years of hard work and preparation, and I was watching my teammates compete on the world stage from my sofa in Texas.
So what do you do when you face a big failure? What’s next after your goals aren’t accomplished in the time frame you had planned? How do you move forward? Here are 4 healthy ways to deal with failure:
Failing Isn’t Fun, But You Will Survive
Let’s face it. It’s uncomfortable to fail. It’s embarrassing to admit you’re not perfect, but guess what. No one is an expert at everything. Everyone fails. Remind yourself that you can survive a temporary setback on the road to success. You are capable and determined. You’ve been successful in the past and will be successful again. God’s grace is sufficient for every season you face. Failing can you show you that you’re stronger than you think and God can help you handle more than you can imagine.
Success is not final. Failure is not fatal. It’s the courage to continue that counts.
Winston Churchill
The hardest part about not competing in PyeongChang was facing people afterward. “Are we going to see you in the Olympics?” Such a simple question from well-meaning people who had been cheering me on for years was brutal. I wanted to say, “Well, the Olympics start tomorrow in Korea and I’m here in Texas, so you do the math.” But I didn’t. I remained calm. Having to tell the same story of failure dozens of times at church, at the gym, at the grocery store, at work was awful. But I survived, and I’m still sliding down icy hills in pursuit of my dream.
Focus on What You Can Control
You may not be able to control your teachers, your teammates, or your situation, but you can control your attitude and your work ethic. Focus on what you can control. Choosing to have a good attitude and finding things to be grateful for will make every situation better.
At the end of the season, several different teammates said my persistent, joyful presence had inspired and encouraged them. “I know this season didn’t go as you planned, but you just keep smiling. You don’t give up.” Moments like that put my efforts into perspective. No matter how the season went, I could give my very best and choose to have a good attitude and express gratitude. Choose being the operative word. That year, more than ever, bobsled taught me that working hard with a positive attitude is vital to keep moving forward.
The Bible is full of scriptures that talk about not quitting. When you want to quit on your God given dreams, encourage yourself with verses like these: 12 Encouraging Verses about Not Giving Up
What Did You Learn
Each time you fail is an opportunity to learn something new. Failure gives you the chance to gain new insight or discover new solutions. Setbacks help you learn what areas need more work so you can do better next time.
The more you do, the more you fail. The more you fail, the more you learn, the better you get. Fail early, fail often, but always fail forward.
John Maxwell, Failing Forward: Turning Mistakes Into Stepping Stones for Success
Each week of that season I improved and became more consistent. I learned about mechanics, racing, runner selection, conducting race-offs, and managing a team. This failure taught me about myself and what I could handle mentally, physically and spiritually. I learned about seeking God for direction and how to move forward. All those lessons are an investment into my future as a person and a bobsled pilot.
See The Big Picture
It’s so easy to get wrapped up in your failure that you can’t see the big picture. Take a step back and look at the situation from a different perspective. You might need someone’s help on this one, so don’t be afraid to reach out to a close friend or family member and ask them what they see.
I hadn’t made the Olympic team, but I was so proud of myself for finishing strong. Wearing the Team USA uniform, I finished the season ranked 24th in the world and won two North American Cup races. It took me some time, but after reflecting on the season and talking with my close friends and family, I was able to see all that I had accomplished. I had failed to reach my goal, but I was not a failure.
In short, living a safe, boring life may allow you to never fail, but that’s not really living. Being brave and dreaming big is a challenge to push the limits of what you think is possible. When you’re working toward God-sized dreams, things could get bumpy along the way.
First, remember you will survive and God will give you the grace to get through every season you’re facing. Second, focus on what you can control. Third, learn from your failure. Fourth, take a step back and see the big picture. Above all, remember you achievements or failures do not define your worth. Use these 4 steps to help you put things into perspective and refocus on achieving your big dreams and goals. Use any setback as fuel for your future success!
